Why Can Love Be So Painful? Five Ways to Heal and Move On
Love is painful, because it creates the way for joy, for bliss and for compassion. Love is painful because it transforms you. Love is growth.
Love itself does not hurt. It is growth that hurts, the ego that stings.
Each change is painful because the old situation is left inside you, in your memories for the new.
For instance, when a relationship ends we feel hurt, our hopes and dreams have crashed and we feel lost and lonely, wondering what comes next.
Here are some keys to help you face this challenge.
- Understand The Real Problem
The real problem is your own mind. Fear lives inside you and you are the one who’s stopping yourself and make yourself to hang on to a situation that is known and comfortable for you.
The ego-mind resists change because it is afraid of losing control and feels insecure about the unpredictability of the unknown. Love means the death of the ego because love cannot be controlled, it can only be received and accepted. Love is fragile.
- Practice Gratitude
A gratitude practice is of great help with all matters of the heart. For instance, when that relationship ends. When that relationship ends, be grateful for the good times you shared, for what this person gave you with their energy, time and heart. When you hold this person with love in your heart, even though they may be the one breaking up with you and even if they’ve already met someone else, you are healing yourself. It’s love that heals your broken heart.
- Surround Yourself With Loving Friends and Family
At a difficult time when you are, for instance, going through a divorce or a difficult breakup, your youngest child has left for college or you feel betrayed by a friend, it’s important to keep your heart open to receiving love and support from friends and family. Life doesn’t always seem fair, but love is always there, available for us; we just have to be open to receiving it.
- Take Responsibility for How You Interpret Your Situation
Bring loving awareness to yourself, and be careful not to judge yourself or compare yourself with others. You have a choice between experiencing resentment, pain and suffering or love, peace and joy. It all depends on your interpretation of the situation. Do you perceive yourself as a victim? Or, can you accept the situation — which doesn’t mean you have to like it — for what it is, and receive the blessing that is often revealed later on.
- Watch the Mind
For the mind, love is a dangerous path. The mind will advise you to avoid love, but this is even more dangerous because love is the central core of our lives. A life without love is a life that is withered and dried up.
