Reasons To Say What’s On Your Mind
It’s not always easy to tell people how you feel. If you’re shy or prefer to avoid confrontation, you might let an opportunity to share your views or stand up for what you believe in pass you by. Although it can be intimidating at times, becoming more assertive in discussions can change your life. It will elevate your confidence, make you more resolute in your beliefs and cause people to take note when you open your mouth. Learning to speak your mind freely is all about changing your attitude—you have to have faith that what you’re saying is worth hearing.
1. You won’t feel disappointed in yourself
Ever walked away from an encounter wanting to take a hammer to your head as you’re so angry for not saying what you meant? The fact is that biting back what you really want to say can be tantamount to hitting the self destruct button. Racing against time to pick your friend up from the airport? Your fault for not saying you had too much on already that day. One of the worst things about failing to say what’s on your mind is that you’ve absolutely no one to blame but yourself
2. You won’t end up resenting other people
How many times have you clattered around the house seething with anger because you’re doing everything and nobody else if lifting a finger to help you? How often have you been short with friends who have unwittingly upset you or directed bad karma thoughts at colleagues who seem blissfully oblivious to the fact that you’re taking on more than your fair share of work? Were so unused to spelling out our needs that we expect those around us to guess them instead, and get outraged when they don’t. By speaking up, you’re giving those closest to you a chance of meeting your needs rather than becoming victims of your unexpressed resentment.
5 steps to start speaking your mind
- Always try to see the bigger picture. Often we tend to attach disproportionate importance to what we need to say. We will lie awake at night stressing about it, whereas for the other person, its much less of a big deal than we really think
- Always ask for time before committing to something. Our immediate instinct is to agree to a request, but we can end up bitterly regretting it. Say you need some time to consider it first
- Make a list of your priorities, such as your partner, family or friends, work or hobby. Only by understanding your priorities will you automatically speak up when one of them is threatened
- Don’t overestimate “nice”. Being considered nice is always, well, nice. But it doesn’t win you friends- acquaintances maybe, but not proper friends- or promotions or respect. Honesty and integrity are far more valuable qualities
- Remember, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. We often lack the verbal framework for speaking our minds, so our words come out clumsily and can be hurtful. The good news is that the more practice to you get in speaking out, the easier it will be to frame your words thoughtfully and tactfully
