Five Signs You’ll actually Be Friends Forever
Sure, everyone WANTS to be friends forever (and get matching dainty tats to prove it), but how can you actually tell if a friend is a keeper versus someone who’s really fun and interesting now, but will eventually fade out of your life? Just like romantic relationships, finding the BFF version of “’til death do us part” can be tricky. Here are 11 signs you’re both on the right track to be besties for the long haul:
- You’re equally proactive about hanging out.
While you can forgive your BFF for “being bad at making plans” right now, after a while, carrying the sole burden of reaching out will wear you down (especially when your own life gets really busy). “Two friends have to feel like they are equally deserving of, and equally invested in the friendship,” says Dr Irene S. Levine, PhD, psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine.
- You don’t disappear on each other without explanation.
“No friendship remains static over time – things change and friends need to be flexible,” says Dr Levine. “However, good friends do try to carve out time to stay in touch with friends and to explain their absences when they’re romantically involved or exceptionally busy for other reasons.”
- You both feel REALLY listened to.
Sure, having identical Netflix tastes is great, but if your friend only wants to talk about the latest episode of Black Mirror when you’re going through a rough patch, that could spell trouble.
“Friends need to be active listeners, especially when a friend is upset,” says Dr Levine. “This means maintaining eye contact and resisting other distractions like looking at [your] phone or around the room.
- You do your best to handle your jealousy.
Everyone experiences jealousy, and it can be especially confusing when your best friend is the target. “It’s natural for friends to compare themselves to each other,” says Dr Levine. “But [you have to] remember that your friend’s happiness hasn’t come at your expense.
Being able to hold back on telling your friend you’re super jealous of her promotion is key to keeping resentment at bay. It’s what stops you from entering a weird guilt cycle of your friend feel bad for mentioning the good news in their life and you feel bad that you can’t be happy for them.
- You’re acutely aware of when the other person is down.
The other piece to handling jealousy, of course, is not humble bragging your friend to death, especially when they’re not in a good place. “The person who is having a wild stroke of luck needs to be sensitive to their friend’s misfortunes,” says Dr Levine. ”
Yeah, some of your friends may forget you just went through a breakup when they show off their new boyfriend, but what distinguishes your true BFF from them is they’ll put your feelings above their need to happily boast about it.